+ Pedestrians - Scum Of The Earth...

"It’s compulsory to wear helmets when you ride your two-wheeler on the road. The government cares about whether we crack our skulls."

"But women on pillion and Sikhs don’t have to wear helmets, right...?"

"Okay, so then, the government actually cares about the rest of us two-wheeler users."

"How can you tell?"

"Well, doesn’t it? You actually have to pay a fine if you don’t wear a helmet. That’s how much the government cares about you. The government actually insists. It is scared at the potential loss of national brain power if people don’t wear helmets. Really, two-wheeler users must be among the most valuable human commodity in the country."

"Why? Why do you say that?"

"Surely, it must be true. Well, okay, take the four-wheeler users out of the reckoning. They don’t face the same kind of danger as two-wheeler users. But among two-wheeler users and pedestrians, two-wheeler users have to be by far the more valuable bunch."

"Again, why do you say that?"

"Isn’t it obvious? Pedestrians clearly are as valuable as stray dogs – maybe, slightly better. Most roads have pavements even mountain goats can’t walk on. I haven’t even seen pavements on most roads. And, even when there are pavements, I have never seen pedestrians being forced to walk on the pavement."

"Are you saying that since the government fines people when the guys don’t do something that ought to be done, the government too ought to be fined for roads that don’t have pavements?"

"That’s a thought, I should say. Why not indeed? But to get back to what I was saying, I haven’t seen pavements on most roads. And look at the people who drive on the roads. Have you been able to witness the rare sight of vehicles actually stopping when pedestrians get a green light? But what really convinces me about the total uselessness of pedestrians is when I see traffic policemen stand by and watch vehicles zoom by even when the pedestrian green light is on. It happens every day, every time, at the KSCA stadium junction on Kasturba Road. It can’t be as simple as the constables being amused by the sight of the poor guys getting scared out of their wits and having to run and dodge to save themselves; that would pall in a few days. It has to be deeper. I am sure there is some research whose findings haven’t been disclosed and which give statistics that show that pedestrians are such a pain and a drain."

"What are you trying to say? What do you want?"

"What I really WANT right now is the report. Based on that, then, we could probably put together a more efficient mechanism. Bulldozers... or junkyard crushers... or maybe plain machine guns...."